Ever experienced an ending? A relationship – a career – a business – a way of life – or any major or minor life situation? The answer for everyone is – Yes.
Having experienced a number of endings during my life I was thinking today about how temporary life is (on earth that is).
Last year I wrote a book (not published yet) called endings are just new beginnings in disguise. The basic message is simply that sooner or later everything ends whether a career, relationship or your life. I am not going to delve into the spiritual realm of endings as I believe that death is also a new beginning and not an ending but in this article I would like to focus on how short lived and temporary everything in this life really is.
Why do we fear endings? Why are so many of them so painful and why do some things seem to come to an end before their time or when we are ready for them to end? So many questions when it comes to the reasons for endings in life but let me share a couple of simple yet profound ideas with you that if you are currently dealing with an ending or can't let go of the pain from a previous ending that might help – they are helping me.
Endings – first and foremost are teachers trying to get us to learn one of life's many basic tenants – life is short so live life to the fullest while you can so you can leave here with as few regrets as possible. They want to teach us to learn to embrace the joy, blessings and adventure of a situation (relationship, career or general life circumstance) while it is present in our life. It wants us to learn to move into the next chapter of our life with courage, faith, hope and understanding. It wants to teach us to learn to embrace what we have while we have it – for many this is not an easy task – thus the pain of endings we must all endure.
Endings are a routine part of life and you can't escape them but what you can do is be a willing student as you pass through each ending regardless of its cause or circumstances. If we fail to learn what an ending is trying to teach us it is guaranteed that sooner or later we will face a similar ending that could be even more painful as the previous one.
What else are endings trying to teach us? It depends on the unique mindsets, attitudes and values that you have but in general I believe they are hoping we will learn to; trust God and life, accept all He brings into our life with a simple thank you and that we need to finally grasp that there is only one thing that doesn't end and that is our relationship with Him.
I have lost parents and many friends and peers to death during my life and only a few of them lived each and every day with peace, joy, passion, gratitude and compassion while others were wrapped up in the temporary nature and perceived value of things or stuff they owned, desired or had lost for some reason.
Endings are the one certainty in life that you can't avoid and if we will let them, they will serve a valuable growth lesson enabling us to say goodbye to many of life's circumstances, people and memories with poise, maturity, love and understanding.
The second thing that is valuable in an ending is your willingness and ability to look deep inside yourself to determine who you are, what you value, what you really want from life and why you have it or are still searching for it.
Awareness, introspection and self-evaluation are the only reliable approaches to changing something in your life. You can read hundreds of books, attend seminars until you are blue in the face but if you are unwilling to bring the learned concepts and ideas inside yourself for careful and thorough contemplation, the learning and the time spent learning will be of ultimate little value. All inner and outer change requires surrender, courage, persistence, practice and self-accountability none of which are easy when you have a history of opposite behaviors, attitudes or mindsets.
Endings can be a great source for learning if we will use the emotional pain we are experiencing to take the necessary strides forward and make the necessary effort.
"And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
Abe Lincoln
In His Service, Tim