My latest book, Blah. . . Blah . . . Blah – Don’t Tell Me – Show Me will be coming off the press in a few weeks so I thought I would give you a brief excerpt. If integrity based and honest communication is important to you in any or all of your relationships I encourage you to buy this book. At the end of the excerpt I will give you a special pre-publication sales offer.
Excerpt from chapter one –
Words are more than words, they are the way we communicate feelings, attitudes, beliefs, fears, hopes, dreams and so on, so if you keep telling the world you are going to do whatever it takes to accomplish something and the first time you hit a snag, you give in or up, well what were your real intentions? What gives words their integrity when it comes to interpretation is both your intent and the ability or willingness of the other person to grasp what your meaning is.
It’s simple, if you say one thing (stated intention) I’m going to lose weight and you don’t, well what do you think your real intention was? You guessed it, to not lose weight. So what’s the problem here? Nothing unless you’re stated intentions don’t impact me.
Animals don’t get disappointed and why? It’s simple – they don’t talk. Yes they communicate but they don’t use words they use behavior and non-verbal methods of communication. Yes there are a few exceptions, Those African Grey Parrots that talk. I’ve actually had a conversation with one of these, but I have to wonder was this just mimicking or thoughtful expression?
Can dogs smile? No, but can they send you messages that they are happy? Yes. Do cat’s laugh? No, but they can send the message that they are in a playful state of mind.
Humans are the only known specie that communicates with reasoning or thought on two levels – verbal, non-verbal,
And here’s where the trouble begins, when there is an inconsistency between the verbal or spoken message and the non-verbal message.
Ever had a person tell you they loved you with words but their actions were totally inconsistent with these words?
Ever had someone say “I’ll call you” and they never did?
Ever heard, “I’ll get that done this week” and it didn’t happen?
Told someone that you would meet them at noon for lunch and they were late due to some last minute piddling?
Billions of statements like this are made every day. Yes, sometimes legitimate things can get in the way of your promises or commitments but the question is – generally speaking – are you always true to your word? Are others in your life always true to theirs? If not – how do you think it impacts your relationships with over time? Think about it.
“The first ingredient in communication is truth, the next good sense, the third good humor and the fourth wit.”
Sir W. Temple
In His Service,
Tim