Words of wisdom for this week.
“Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it foregoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury.” – E. H. Chapin
One of the biggest challenges in relationships is the unconditional acceptance of another person’s beliefs, attitudes and behaviors. Having had a number of relationships with a variety of people: friends, employees, clients, children, spouses, supervisors, suppliers and audience members I can tell you from vast first hand experience that some people are easy to accept while others can bring us over the top of the emotional barometer when it comes to stress, anger and their ability to push our buttons.
What is unconditional acceptance? I am not referring to what John Powell discusses in his great book, Unconditional Love. Love and acceptance can go hand in hand but each of us can have a variety of relationships where there is no romantic or family love but we need to find it within ourselves to have unconditional acceptance.
I am not a psychologist, or professional educator so my definition might differ from some professionals. You can buy them resent them, reject them, like them, endorse them, whatever. My main goal is the hope that they will make you think.
Unconditional acceptance means to me:
- A lack of judgments.
- A lack of unrealistic expectations.
- An awareness that everyone is doing the best they can with what they have at any given time in their life.
- An understanding that everyone is on their own path, learning what they need to learn as they pass from one day to the next.
- Knowing that I don’t have to agree with them about everything or anything.
- Accepting that my ways, attitudes, opinions etc. do not have to be shared by anyone.
- Recognizing that the human experience is more or less difficult for some people.
- Understanding that everyone has a unique emotional outlook.
- Accepting that everyone has a life story or experiences that is uniquely theirs.
- That there is no right or wrong. But perceptions are a major part of how each of us sees the world.
- Seeing the positives in the other person.
- Knowing that everyone has their personal dramas, demons, angels, dreams, hopes, fears and frustrations.