Relationship’s 6 T’s

Weekly Relationship Tips

Words of wisdom for this week.

“This life is not for complaint but for joy and satisfaction.”
~ Thoreau

Let’s keep our relationship simple.  Easy to say – difficult to accomplish.  Every relationship has demands, expectations, problems, disappointments, failures, frustrations, anxieties as well as happy, fun, joyous and productive times.  For years I have wondered why people just can’t seem to get along.  There are any number of reasons, if you ask the relationship professionals, why relationships go south.  I don’t have space in this tip to list them all but here are a few of the common ones.

1. A lack of a safe environment where people can share real fears, hopes, dreams, frustrations and fantasies with the fear of criticism, judgment or retribution.
2. Poor communication skills or a lack of clarity.  Conversations that are filled with assumptions, personal perceptions, hidden agendas, misunderstanding and a lack of congruence between verbal and non-verbal messages.
3. A lack of understanding, awareness or acceptance of the other person’s real wants, needs, dreams and desires in the relationship.
4. Always thinking – that there is – or should be someone or something better out there.
5. A lack of acceptance for who the person really is and who they are becoming.
6. The breakdown of trust and or respect in the relationship.
7. The desire for the other person to make up for some lack that you feel in yourself.
8. An unwillingness to accept change or to change.
9. Poor self-esteem in one or both people.
10. Constant invalidation of the other person.
11. Seeing the other person’s behavior that you don’t like, can’t accept or disagree with as a fault.
12. Poor listening skills.
13. A lack of emotional maturity in one or both people – always dealing in – blame, guilt, anger, resentment or other emotionally manipulative behaviors.

What can we do to ensure that relationships last longer, are more nurturing and each person can become all that they can be without earning the criticism, rejection, emotional manipulation or scorn from their partner?  There are 6 T’s in all positive relationships.  If these are nourished, you can go a long way to ensure a life filled with love, acceptance, compassion and harmony.  They are:

Trust, Time, Touch, Talk, Tenderness and Truth

Seems simple enough doesn’t it?  A)Learn to trust your partner and conduct yourself in such a way as to nurture a higher level of trust. B) Spend quality time together. C) Learn the importance of touch. D) Spend time in intimate dialogue and the exchange of feelings, fears, hopes, dreams, wants, needs, goals etc. E)  Show the same tenderness for your partner that you do your pet. F) Always deal in the truth no matter how painful or difficult it might be.

How is your relationship doing in these 6 areas?  In which area do you need to improve in order to improve the chances of success in your relationship?