Life is filled with a variety of transitions – changes, endings and new beginnings. Each of us lives through many such transitions. The transition of:
– graduating from high school or college and starting a career.
– leaving one job, career and moving on to another.
– leaving a relationship that is destructive or lacks a nurturing and loving foundation, and moving on to another that you hope will give you more of what you need and desire.
– marriage, leaving the single life behind.
– moving into a new home or neighborhood
– retiring and leaving behind the frantic, busy and often stressful life of the busy professional, executive, -manager or employee.
– moving from one part of the country to another or even from one city to another in the same state.
There are many major life transitions such as marriage, divorce, retirement and starting a business, and there are thousands of smaller life transitions that fill our days and years.
Each of us handles and reacts to these transitions in many different ways. Let me pull a key concept from the best selling book Transitions, by William Bridges. Bill shares a simple concept in managing any major or minor life transition.
Declare an ending. Spend time in the neutral zone. Create a new beginning. Many people attempt to begin again – a new relationship, a new job or anything – without declaring an ending or putting closure on the previous situation. This will almost guarantee a premature ending to your new relationship or new beginning that resembles the previous one in some ways.
Spend time in the neutral zone. This is time of reflection, contemplation and self-evaluation. I have known people who have spent months in the neutral zone. Personally, after relationship transition, I spent over a year in the neutral zone (I know – what took so long?). This is a time of renewal and self-discovery. It is time well invested if you want to discover the who, what, why, how, why not and what if – in your past and future.
New Beginnings. Start, begin and go for it with confidence, desire, passion, belief and a willing heart and mind and leave all of the old baggage behind. It won’t do you any good in a new beginning.
No one escapes life’s transitions. The key to happiness and inner peace is the ability to view both the transition process and its outcomes as in your long term best interests. All change is good – if you will look for the good. Years have taught me that nothing happens without a reason. A life’s transition enables a person to leave something behind (even something good) and move into something better. The secret is to accept a transition with confidence, courage and faith.
Some of life’s transitions can be planned and prepared for while others come upon us suddenly with surprise and cause a great deal of anxiety due to the uncertainty of the future they may create.
Over the years I have observed many people who have resisted a life transition that would have ultimately been good for them, due to their; fear, stress and a lack of trust in their life process. If a transition is necessary for you to grow, you can anticipate it, plan for it and take positive action or wait for just the right time. But waiting isn’t an effective way to face a transition if you want to create more inner peace, happiness or success. There is never the perfect time to; start a relationship, end one, start a new career or end one, or many other of life’s transitions. If you wait too long, life has a unique way of interceding and pushing you whether you feel you are ready or not.
What transition(s) are you experiencing at this time in your life, that you are not handling with calm, confidence, courage and clarity?
What transition are you waiting to take action on due to fear or a lack of trust and faith?
"The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today; Let us move forward with strong and active faith."
Franklin D. Roosevelt
In His Service, Tim