Let me start with the results of numerous surveys over the years. Over 90% of the things people worry about never happen. OK, so why do people let worry dominate their life? Or, better still what are the consequences of worry when it comes to health, relationships and life in general?
The major issue with worry is its contribution to stress and stress is a killer so does worry kill people? Yes. Oh, maybe not directly, but indirectly.
What do people worry about? In no particular order they worry about; health issues, careers, relationships, the weather, getting a flat tire, missing a plane, whether people will accept or like them – get it? People who worry, worry about everything, but they tend to worry about some things more than others. But, the common denominator in the things people worry about are the things they want to control or even influence but fail to realize that some things in life just can’t be controlled;
-The behavior of others.
-Yes, the weather.
-The economy.
-The consequences of decisions made by others.
This list is far too long for this article, but let me ask you – are you a worrier? If so what do you tend to worry most about? And how is this life approach working for you?
Why do people worry? I eluded it to it in the above paragraph – they want control and when they have it they worry about losing it and when they don’t have it they worry about what will happen because they can’t control the things they need or want to control.
People also worry about stupid or trivial stuff. Stuff that in the grand scheme of life don’t really matter, but they have chosen to make them big deals instead of just letting this trivial stuff go and moving on accepting that which they can’t control.
They worry about their future. They worry about things they did or didn’t do in the past and their impact on their lives in the present and even the future. They worry about money, security, opinions of others, being misunderstood, potential conflict – again I could go on and on with this stuff, but I’m sure you don’t need more examples.
They worry because they just have to worry – their rational is simple – this is who I am – I am a worrier. Come on – yes, you may have had that mindset in the past, but the only reason it dominates your life now is because you are comfortable with worry and see no longer worrying as a casual way of living life and more or less – appearing as not caring about stuff or that if you don’t worry you are not serious or mature or more realistic etc.
What are the consequences of worry? As I said earlier worry contributes to stress and stress is a major contributor of illness and illness is a major contributor to death.
In brief – worry keeps people stuck in negative mindsets or attitudes and these will impact the quality of all relationships, effectiveness, creativity, problem solving, decision making and every aspect of your daily life.
Worry is nothing more than a mental habit and these mindsets can be changed, but a person often needs to be confronted in a significant way with the short and/or long term impact of any attitude, belief or behavior before they will consider changing it, releasing it or improving it.
Worry causes people to make rash immature decisions, take foolish actions and fail to consider the real consequences of these. So- they worry, act, decide and inherit the consequences of their thoughts and then justify the consequences they get as unavoidable. They go into denial, justification and often fail to accept the personal reality they caused as their responsibility.
What can we do to better manage worries? I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and I am not suggesting that people need medication or therapy to better handle life’s issues in a more positive or proactive way but let me share a few things to consider – if you are a worrier;
2) Spend dedicated time each day (from a few minutes to even an hour and just worry – have a list of things you want to worry about and just go through the list one item at a time). Once this time is over don’t allow yourself any time during the rest of your day for worry.
3) Learn to focus on the now – not tomorrow, not yesterday or not next week.
4) Pay attention to your thoughts whenever you worry and ask yourself – is worry about this worth my time or energy?
5) Use mental anchors – whenever you start to worry about anything – replace those thoughts with positive ones – anything that distracts you from the negative and helps you focus on the positives.
6) Create a – count your blessings list and whenever you start to worry about anything – pull your list out and review the items one at a time.
7) Start exposing yourself to more positive mental inputs – books, CD’s, people – anything that helps you realize how special each day is.
8) Start trusting God and improving your faith in tomorrow accepting what is and what you can’t control.
“Bacteria and other microorganisms find it easier to infect people who worry and fret.”
Leo Rangell
In His Service, Tim